While I try to be supportive of new foodventions that promise to make us an even more obese country, I certainly have some questions about “baconnaise”.

Fresh out of Seattle comes this supposedly lip-smackin’ concoction of mayo and bacon. Put it on your burger! Spread some on your Apple Jacks! Or just cuddle up on the couch with your favorite show and slurp it straight from the jar.

This stuff is taking off. It has singlehandedly increased defibrillator sales 350%. It even made an appearance on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Wait, I want to be on that show…time to get inventing.

How about bacobutter? Baconanas? Wait, wait…I’ve got it!

Say hello to BacoStarburst.