There’s this story in the news that a graduating senior from high school got a car that her dad had promised her for having perfect attendance in school since kindergarten. That’s cool and all, but I’ve got a few questions.

What happens when you get the flu? Does knowing you’re going to get a car keep you from barfing in your locker? What if you spew on your prom date? It’s hard to keep friends that way.

What if you just need a break? School can be rough sometimes. I go to Algebra, Chem Lab, and now I’m supposed to have some guy’s sneaker fall off and land on my ear while he’s climbing the rope in gym class? Sometimes you just gotta get away.

And why didn’t my parents make this offer to me? Sure, Andria Baker gets a $17,000 Pontiac G6 for going to school. I might have done the same thing for a new car. My folks had a different offer: “Go to school and we’ll let you live in our house until you graduate”.

Anyway, congrats to you Andria, for loving school and automobiles enough to never miss a day. And congrats to me, Doug, for going to school just enough for my parents to not change the locks.