“Two physicists have published an academic paper where they demonstrate, by virtue of geometric progression, that vampires could not exist, since they would almost immediately deplete their entire food supply (a.k.a, all of us).” – i09 website, 5/09/09

Oh, come on. This is definitely one of those “well, duh” articles. It only substantiates and proves something obvious we’ve known all along! That scientists have way too much time on their hands.

Reading studies like these (which some might say proves I have too much time on my hands) only makes me suspect vampires even more. I mean, who else would go out of their way to “prove” vampires don’t exist? This may explain why the study was funded by the Transylvanian School of Scientific Theories We Hope The Unsuspecting Human Population Will Buy Hook Line And Sinker.

Whatever the case? I’m just glad the world’s physicists are working on the world’s problems.